Roasting David (Tennant)

"My Scottish voice is so seductive, that I've been commissioned to record an audio book, called 'The Reproductive Life of Rerigerator Mold.'"

"It's tough being a celebrity. Even with an umbrella, two coats on, hiding behind a bush, the fan-girls are still sqeeing at me! Gotta' be the hair..."

"...David, sorry, I know you want to enhance your image, but honestly, I don't think getting man-boob implants is such a good idea...."

"Yeah, I'll have a double cheeseburger, medium fries, and a strawberry milk shake, please."

It is rumoured that cast and crew members were unhappy with long delays on the Dr Who set, during filming for the 2009 Christmas special.

Windy conditions caused star David Tennant to frequently have a hair out of place, prompting BBC stylists to nip out to Tescos for a case of Cowslobber's Extra-Heavy-Duty Hair Gel.

"Ha! See! That was my 100,000th snog! I am David Tennant: sex god!"

What d'ya mean, I'll have to give up my hair when I leave? The BBC has trademarked it!?!"

"Who me? Gay sir? Oh no, sir! Not me sir! I'm far too in love with myself, to be looking at any other bloke."

"That IS a strand of my hair! Oh no, I'm going bald! This is a disaster, I'm going to end up looking like Patrick Stewart."

"I'm on strike! I stepped in camel poo, I'm sunburned, the canteen's out of pasties, I haven't snogged in three days...and I got sand up my bottom. I want to go home!"

"Oh Jeez, it's that telemarketer playwrite27 again, trying to sell me an upgrade membership in the Scottish Overactor's Club. I won't answer, maybe she'll go away..."

"Excuse me, I'm on my ten-minute fart break. They make me come out here for health and safety regulations."

NORMALLY, I don't use this page as a platform to support causes--the exception being Red Nose Day--but due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to cancel my plans to physically support UNICEF this year...so, making do the best I can, I want beg your indulgence, while I take a quick break from lampooning David Tennant's fame and fandom, to tell you about a cause that is very important to me--and, to all of us, wherever we may be.---Nancy G. (Playwrite27)

When I was a child, around 9, 10 or 12 years old, sometimes on Halloween, I'd give up all or part of my "candy route," and Trick or Treat for Unicef instead, carrying my little orange box, and asking for pocket change to help make other children's lives, children who didn't have candy or fancy dress costumes, a little bit better.

I still support Unicef today. I had planned, a few months ago, to be a Tap Project volunteer for World Water Week. Sadly, my recent ill health has got in the way of that, this year. But, I still can tell you all what the Tap Project is all about, and, why it's of such urgent concern for all of us--whether we live in the USA, Canada, UK, France, Australia, South America or Africa.

In 2001, I was extremely blessed to be able to travel with about 20 other members of our local community college, to another college in the city of Leeuwarden in the Netherlands. There, we took part in a two-week seminar to study various aspects of the vital impact water has had, in both past and present, on humanity and the earth itself.

The part water has played in human evolution--from economic expansion, to providing food, power, travel, assisting good health, influencing our art and music, causing disease, destroying homes and lives, even bringing about wars and other conflicts--has hugely impacted our world over the course of thousands of years. Truth to tell, water has had a massive influance--even to this very moment in time that you're reading this, on the human race.

Although this does sound like an old cliche, or, the verse of a certain pop song, children really are the world's future--providing they have acces to clean potable drinking water. It is Tap Project's and UNICEF's aim, to do just that...one glass of water, and one dollar (about 65p) at a time.

To Donate or find out more, go to: http://wwww.tapproject.org

Here's more information about the Tap Project, and I hope, after reading this, you'll please join me in supporting this most very worthy of causes.

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What is the Tap Project?
In 2007, the Tap Project was born in New York City based on a simple concept: restaurants would ask their patrons to donate $1 or more for the tap water they usually enjoy for free, and all funds raised would support UNICEF’s efforts to bring clean and accessible water to millions of children around the world.

UNICEF’s Role
UNICEF has saved more children’s lives than any other humanitarian organization, and UNICEF is committed to doing whatever it takes to achieve the goal of reaching zero preventable deaths. Currently, UNICEF provides access to safe water and sanitation facilities while promoting safe hygiene practices in more than 90 countries. By 2015, UNICEF's goal is to reduce the number of people without safe water and basic sanitation by 50 percent.

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"They didn't tell me there'd be no women on this outing...I wonder if I can pull a sickie and nip out to the disco?"

"Yeah, my knees are so sexy, the BBC makes me have to specialy pad them any time I have to kneel down, so they won't get blemishes."

"What many people don't know, is that when I expose my bum or lunchbox to the camera, I get double pay...well, anything to help the cause!"

i would have stayed in doctor who but only if they let me be a companion

"Oh ha-ha, I'm sure you lot all think it's very amusing, putting the mark which I have to stand on, right underneath a pigeon roost...again."

"Would you look at this bloke, with his manly pose? I don't have to pose, ya'know. I could stand here like a petrified haggis, and all the fan-girls would squee and swoon--isn't it wonderful being so hottielicious?"

"You've taken the one thing I value the most, and I'm not going to stand for it! So, I'm warning you for the last time---give me back my hair gel!!!"

"Ah-ah-ah-ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive, ah-ah-ah-ah, stayin' aliiiiive---."

www.rednoseday.com

"Hello, I'm David Tennant. My occupation is an actor, and I also have a day job as an ice cream vendor."

www.rednoseday.com

"I not only gave my own time and money to Comic Relief, I also gave a tooth..stuck it under my pillow, with a note to the Tooth Fairy to give the money to Red Nose Day."

www.rednoseday.com

Elvis impressions...1...2...3....

Support Comic Relief 2009

http://www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday/

NNNooo...I think it was Davros I defeated on the shores of Pentarki Four in the Flipflop nebula - are you sure? Oh, hang on, was it the Cybermen? You're gonna have to repeat the question, sorry...Christ, this is hard...

Support Comic Relief 2009

http://www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday/

Don't just stand there - the evil witch has shrunk me! Hellpp!!

Please support Comic Relief 2009

http://www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday/

Thank you!

"After I met Davinna McCall, and I showed her my balls...she took one and put it on her nose."

Last chance to support Red Nose Day--and show David Tennant you've got balls to show you care about other people in desperate need....purchase YOUR red ball noses at: www.rednoseday.com

....get it on with David, by supporting Red Nose Day. www.rednoseday.com !!!

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"Look! I'm such a hottie, my nose is glowing!"

**************

Come on, give in to temptation and lick him...erm--I mean, click it! Ohhh--yeah, you know you wanna' just click that link, go on, you can do it.... www.rednoseday.com

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Even one pound can help make another human being's life better, and make YOU better, for having cared for another person, as well!

"Does this nose make me look fat?"

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LOOK!
Don't be left out! You too can support Red Nose Day! Go here: http://www.rednoseday.com

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"I'm not the type of lad to kiss and smell."

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PLEASE support Red Nose Day! Go to: http://www.rednoseday.com

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"To hell with Hamlet and Doctor Who--I've finally landed a role in Taggart, Whoo-hoo!!!"

"I love it when I get to lie about on set without my pants on...it's so liberating."

"Now David, I'm sorry, but if you don't stop farting between takes we're going to have to issue gas masks to the crew, and I'm afraid the cost would to have to come out of your salary..."

"Oooohh, look at me...I'm all shimmery, I'm positively glowing with hottiness!"

"I like standing next to big gutted blokes, makes me look even more fit than I am!"

"Yeah, just realized, when I do my final take, I won't have this sexy hair style any longer, no women throwing themselves at me and no personal assistants to cater to my every whim...OMG, what was I thinking???"

Rumour has it that after seeing his performance in Love's Labour's Lost, Broadway producer Ima Bigshotte has signed on Tennant to star in the upcoming musical-comedy production of "Butch Guys Wearing Poofy Pants."

One too many chillies in that vindaloo....gaarrrrghhh!

...it glows an' evrythink...

Sorry, love, I'm afraid you're going to have to brace yourself. I've just slipped out a Silent But Deadly.

"Whew! I swear, I'll never buy discount deodarant again--my pit's are rank enough to bowl over a pony!"

Wow, I've had no less than seven people contact me, to ask me to please come back...said some lovely things, which I really don't deserve, and am actually blushing.

So, perhaps, if I am feeling a bit more well, either tomorrow or Sunday, I will do a post. We'll see. But...considering that at time, I've behaved like a hysterical twit, to the point of seeming rude to some people--and they may be right, I can get a bit gruff when unwell and/or stressed out...I am just gobsmacked by the support messages I've received.

I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. I seirously had no idea so many of you genuinely liked this blog group...in fact, I had no idea I had so many daily readers! Thank you again, for taking the time to be a part of this blog, and to share your feelings with me, and for your words of kindness and support during what's been a very trying week for me, it really does mean a great deal to me.

Oh, and a huge, huge thank you to Heather at wordpress, for restoring my lost fiction blog. Cheers!

I'm not deleting this blog--I'm already hurting from the accidental deletion of my Dr Who fiction blog yesterday.

but, I have to get away from David Tennant, just as far and as fast as I can, right now. I won't get into details that no one wants to hear or cares about...just to say, to put it mildly, I'm going through just a wee bit of a rough patch at the moment.

A DT fan, known as Oprphelia on Twitter has grouped together her fan-girl friends, to harass me. I'm really not doing good right now, and with a mess of some rather unpleasant things to deal with all of the sudden, it's the very last thing I need, is to be bothered by a bunch of bratty shallow DT fan-girls...NOT on this blog, on my main blog. None of these girls--tho' I suspect that it's the SAME person, just changing her name-- has the courage to give their real names...but I've tracked them all down to "Orphelia" on Twitter. Probably David's stalker from Stratford, I'm guessing.

Anyway, I've been told by a "concerned friend" (now THERE'S an oxymoron) that I should be reported to BCUK. Well, I've been here since Sept. of 2006, with no one saying that to me before....really, to threaten a person in my condition...especially when you've been told that...is really low-brow. Well, normal for this person, I suspect.

Anyway, I'm severely upset and not entirely well, and right now, this person has upset me to the point, where I don't give a tinker's darn whether I ever hear or see David Tennant, ever again. I am sick of demented fan-girl's, frustrated over their lack of getting to DT, taking their maddness out on me. To heck with this. No more creative writing, and...at least for a while, no more DT captions. I'm too stressed out for this crap.

I am not going to be posting any new DT captions for a while. However, if any of my group members wants to have a go, please feel free.

As always, thanks for taking the time to visit this daft ol' blog. Cheers. Playwrite27

"Look David, when are you going to stop making farting noises every time I have to bend over--I mean really, I can see you think it's a big laugh, but I'm tired of having to wear a gas mask around you..."

Actor David Tennant spent 30 minutes in front of his dressing room mirror, practicing his smouldering look, before he realized that he'd accidentally set his pants on fire.

One of the hazards the actor must deal with when filming in the erm--wee hours of the morning, is when the crew and extras are all queued up at the porta-loos, the public loos are shut for the night, and Tennant's trailer is two streets away....