Roasting David (Tennant)

"I understand that all the exits from the set are blocked by hundreds of fan-girls, but isn't security going a wee too far this time?"

"That fan girl over there wants to what? She'll give me fifty quid for my umbrella...just because I've touched it? Erm-ask her if she'll go another fifty if I kiss the handle--I just got a hot tip from some punter on the forth race at Newbury."

Here we see David Tennant's reaction, when a security guard at a posh London nightclub, tells him he can only exit by the "metrosexuals" door.

"Sorry, have to stop this interview for a sec, while I take this call. I'm such a workaholic, I've taken a part-time job as a telemarketing services representative, 'cos, well, I like to keep busy...and, I get a chance to meet some genuinely mad people this way--which is a plus--helps me with character development."

"I dunno' why everyone thinks I'm sexy--BRRRAAAP--'scuse me. I'm just an ordinary bloke...sit around in my jim-jams on a Sunday, scratching m'self, drinking larger, watching footie...oh, and shopping online for some new curtains and cookware, I do enjoy that."

Here we see the proof of why some women and men are so attracted to David Tennant--it's his animal magnetism, as witnessed here, where three of his co-stars were constantly driven to leaning towards the actor, every time he appeared on-stage.

"Of course I'm upset! How would you like flying 8 hours on a plane with a sore back and a half an acre of sand up your bum? Not to mention, dozens of squeeing fan-girls queuing to sit next to you, every blinking stewardess asking why I'm not traveling by Tardis, and a pile of five hundred post cards to autograph before I can chew on my complementary nuts? I'm telling you, I should quit acting and become a double glazing salesman in Glasgow."

"Little did I know, when I became an A-list celebrity, how expensive it would be! I can't keep up with all the taxes--not just my car, council taxes and VAT...did you know Britain even has a new hottie tax? I now have to pay an extra 1000 pounds a year, just because I'm sexy!"

To prove to producers and the BBC, that he was ready for action in his role as the Doctor, actor David Tennant does a Scottish break-dance for BBC execs.

I got several messages this morning, regarding something I wrote on my main bcuk blog, last night. I need to clairfy something, but just don't have time this morning to write everyone individual in return, so I'm posting this here, in hopes they'll see it.

Last night I wrote on my main blog, that I was considering deleteing some of my other blogs, since they mostly weren't being read, and didn't seem to be serving any real purpose.

I need to clarify that I will NOT be delteing Roasting David Tennant. There are around 30 or so group memebers on here, and I would consult my members before errasing a group blog. The blogs I am considering giving the ax to, are my Dr Who fan-fic blogs on wordpress, the Accord Hospice 100 story blog from 2007, and a play writing blog on Blogger.

Again, not getting rid of this particular blog, nor my main blog, so please don't get upset with me unnecessarily!

Cheers, playwrite27 (Nancy G.)

Since his annoucement of his departure on Dr Who, David Tennant has suddenly found himself no longer getting star treatment from the BBC. They've taken away his caravan, and now it is rumoured that Tennant's new on-set digs is an empty storage locker in the props warehouse, with a porta-loo standing in as his dressing room, and a near-sighted 80 year old char woman named Effie, doing his hair and makeup.

"Hello, nice to meet you. Oh, erm--you wish I wasn't such a hottie and would I get rid of my sexy hair? Eh, thanks, and I thought you did really well in the Grand National, by the way."

Just a note that I won't be posting a caption until tomorrow, UK time--which is tonight, USA time...I have a private writing project I'm jumping into, (that has nothing to do for once, with Dr Who)...so, taking the day off from blogging to type away at openoffice...and I have a late afternoon appointment before work, so for once, the illustrious David Tennant is safe from my little jibes for a while. He can breathe easy, today.

I do want to take a moment though, to say my heartfelt thanks to you all, for taking the time to visit this naf' little blog, have a fantastic day..See you in about 12 or 14 hours or so.

"I'm practicing my Elvis sneer...really turns the girl's on, ya' know what I mean, doll?"

David Tennant denies he's a margarine man:

"I can't believe it's not butter!"

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten the curried haggis pasties from the BBC canteen...Russell did warn me not to eat at the extra's tea break table."

No caption this afternoon, sorry. Felt like doing something different....this was written in 2007 for a fund-raiser I did.

THE ACCIDENT

The Proclaimers came on: “…will walk 500 miles.” David punched the air, leaned over to turn up the volume. Just then, the lorry in front of him on the M-4 cut him off. Saying a bad word, he swerved–and sideswiped a blue police box on the side of the road. David gaped, “What??” Just then, with a wheezing noise, the box vanished.

"I can't go anywhere without fans chasing me, so...what do ya' think, will this disguise work?"

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LESS THAN 1 MONTH TO GO! PLEASE SUPPORT RED NOSE DAY. http://www.rednoseday.com

Here we see Catherine Tate, denying the actor is gay, by showing how David Tennant always greets his female co-stars every morning at the Upper Boat Studios.

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"I was Stig for a while as well, erm--at home...but, shagging with a helmet on can be a bit tricky.

"You have no idea Michelle, how terribly difficult it is to stay in character, when you've got sand in your pants."

"A pigeon loft? They're shooting near a pigeon loft? Lucky my agent talked me into getting some poo insurance for my hair."

"Ummm---a Big Mac Value Meal!"

"Oh yes, that is a big sucker down there, I'd enjoy licking that...I love it when someone sends me one of those oversize lollipops, I have such a thing for sweets."

(I know what you lot were thinking...shame on you.) Sometimes I'm just in the mood for a little adolecent humour.

"No, I wasn't pinching her bottom, I was merely er--giving her a Glasgow hug...it's erm--a traditional greeting among buddies."

"Promise you won't tell anyone, mate? I get this look by unscrewing a lightbulb every morning, sticking my finger in the socket for one tenth of a second, then after my brain stops buzzing, I use a bit of Tesco's hair gel."

"I don't have to pay tolls on the M4 any longer, I go through for free. All I had to do, was agree to kiss the person issuing my electronic tag...mind you, he could have done with a shave, first."

"Look, I'm just an ordinary bloke...can I help it if I'm a rich, famous, talented, sexy metrosexual, with hoardes of sex-starved sqeeing fan-grils hounding my every step?"

"Erm--no, I wasn't touching his bum, I was just wondering if he was wearing boxer's or briefs. I'm going commando, ma'self...boulder holders are just so unatural feeling."

"Well, the parts haven't exactly been coming along quite as I'd hopeed, but I have got two offers on the table: one as a model and spokesman, for Ma'Legg's male pantyhose. The other is to play Wee Jimmy Krankie's girlfriend, in an upcoming special."

"Those fans over there, they don't want my autograph, that want my chocolate orange! Where's that security bloke when I need him?"

"Yeah, the bus got busted, but no worries. After all, it's me the fans tune in to see...the producers could paint two camels red, tie them together and print the word "BUS" on their sides, and if I take my shirt off in the desert, heh-heh, none of the fan-girls would ever notice, 'cos their eyes would be glued to my manly Scottish belly hair."